Preface - "Will Here"

Agreed, God gave us all (well...almost) a beautiful life, he did the best he could, with the CAD tools and Photoshop, to give us a well designed world system to live in. To make it better, he installed many soft wares to make living life a much easier thing to do. But then Satan is well...Satan (no other word describes him better)!! He planted his best viruses into God's database system, making our life confusing, abnormal and shitty. Moreover, he introduced new soft wares called "Guilty Pleasures" which were irresistible but, allegedly, bad for us.

God was all mad & furious...
We were unhappy too (but that's usual, plus, nobody cares if we are!).
This of course resulted in endless rounds of COUNTER-STRIKE between God an Satan.
We watch in awe, as mostly scores are levelled, hoping some day, one of them would win two consecutive rounds and will rule this whole world system (highly improbable, both of them take such great HEADSHOTS!).


Being the Great Indians, good values are instilled in us from day 1 of our lives, and so was with me. I went on living that values and rules driven life, hoping (as i was promised) one day everything would turn out to be just fine. They said, if you think straight and work without the lust of result in mind you will succeed. But 15 years (small time, but still) of battering that I got from life was enough to bring me out of that great dream that was stuck into my mind by my Great Indian Family.


One day, tired of thinking straight and working my ass of like an ass without any good result in sight, I saw Satan take that perfect headshot and suddenly it dawned on me. No matter which side you were on, life would remain the perfect bitch it is, taking digs at you, making you feel miserable. No matter whether you were a smart ass or an ass hole, you will get all kinds of sticks stuck up your you-know-what. As they say, nobody dies virgin, life fucks everyone!


Life hasn't been anymore rosy since then, but at least being on Satan's side helped me use that wonderful software of guilty pleasure. I know I will end up in hell, but then who wouldn't? Mark Twain said "I like heaven for climate and hell for company", I care two hoots about climate and would love some company any day. Guess that tells me my choice...


So here I am on my PC, typing away in MS Word, taking last few swigs left of my HAYWARD 5000 and puffing away last cigarette left in my pack, with nothing else to do (though I doubt I "CAN" do anything with a Patiala peg of vodka, almost two bottles of beer and 19 and a half cigarettes already inside me), 'coz I have finally decided to tell all about my life after that bloody headshot that Satan took. The journey I undertook with Satan on my side, with nowhere else to stop until my next stop...HELL..!!

4 comments:

DevilTima said...

the "satan" and the "cs" head-shots, sound known to me....

Shit Inc. said...

@ deviltima

Guess I must dedicate the preface to you then...

Shanks said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Santu said...

sahi ladke tu bhi mast likhta hai.. :)